Monday, January 6, 2014

Assundrous, educational soap-boxery

I had to post this one, it made me laugh today.

"Liberals are quite open minded and opinions may vary from one to the other based on understanding and education. Its replublicans that are the problem....Yet your republican ass is too busy name calling to spit out any actual facts. I bet your a catholic too. Help thy neighbors? Until they need something you have....You all just need to stop pointing fingers and name calling and work towards resolutions."

Am I the only one that sees the irony in the first sentence as his tirade progressed? I'm actually surprised that he didn't add something about "don't judge a book by it's cover" or "judge not, lest ye be judged". It would have made my laughter become quite literally the split a gut variety.

I didn't realize that all catholics were unwilling to "help thy neighbor" at personal cost to them. I'll have to remember that especially since I am one. I especially enjoyed his "spitting out any actual facts" to help support his tirade on catholicism, oh wait....that's right, he didn't. Oh well, what's good for the goose I guess.

And to top it all off, he comes back full circle and tells everyone else that they "need to stop pointing fingers and name calling and work towards resolutions." Oh, I'm sorry. Did I happen to miss the resolutions he happened to state in there somewhere?

People with very skewed and one-sided views of politics and religion do seem to be all too proud to publicly verbalize their lack of knowledge in berating others just on forum and comment posts.

This guy does have a point though, as gritty and lackluster as it came across. The majority of people, both liberal and conservative, ARE quite open minded and DO vary from one to another based on understanding and education. One should also include upbringing in the mix. That tends to be where the majority a person's outlook on society and life in general stems from.

We all do need to come together at some point for a resolution to the problems at hand. The problem lies in the fact that name calling is easier to follow through with than actually educating one's self enough with a subject matter to actively debate the views. If someone doesn't see something the way we do, we call them "stupid", "moronic" and/or an "idiot".

Am I one worthy enough to cast the first stone at someone who doesn't believe everything I have been raised to believe? Not in the slightest. I am not a stone caster, as much as I have been tempted to. Usually when someone who claims to be an open-minded person, yet refuses to even look at any other view other than their own, no matter what the topic may be.

Debates will always be around because other views on subjects will always be around. We are human beings with free will and our thoughts are our own. Is one side of an argument going to be any more correct than the other? Not in the least. But the convictions to one or the other may be vastly different which is again what makes us unique individuals. It's just too bad that we are able to speak out both sides of our mouths so often flourishing that fact that we think we know all about a subject and in the same vein disputing it.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

I, myself and me....

     Here I sit, trying to come up with a blog idea and once again all I have is a writer's block. I'm not exactly sure as to why but yet, here I sit anyway. Maybe its because I don't have all too much to talk about or maybe its just that I have really gotten rusty as of late. Putting ideas to paper is a lot harder to do when you try to force it, this realization I have come to quite often.

     Of course a lot of it could be due to the fact that my mind has been unable to settle down as of late with all of the drastic changes on the work front. Having been in IT for almost two years and then getting transferred to a new corporate position two weeks ago now. A fairly constant stream of straining my brain to learn as much as I can, while at the same time trying to keep my ADD in check. And now, I have a work related airplane trip scheduled in another couple of weeks. I haven't set foot on an airplane since I was still single digits in age. The trip wasn't even that long, but the sudden change in altitude must have really played havoc with my inner ear due to the fact that I wrangled with a migraine for days after. I can only hope that the same doesn't happen this go round. I'd hate to think that I spent the first part of the week in agony, but time will tell. Yet another item to add to the list of things that keep my brain going top speed. Is it something I need to worry about? I highly doubt it, yet that is something I haven't been able to effectively convince myself of just yet.

     I have also been letting my brain wander about creating my own business. Do something I truly enjoy doing while being able to effectively make a living at it. I am currently looking down the barrel of extra long work hours mixed with a lot more extra needy people who are lucky to be able to turn a computer on effectively without completely freaking out about it. Plus it is a job working in a career that may or may not be on the verge of a total collapse. But, it is a step that I had to take in order to keep up with the ever increasing cost of living mixed with the completely stagnant pay scale of my current environment.

     I don't know, just a lot of really random things that are traipsing around in my head that I can't seem to shake. Stepping completely and utterly out of my "comfort zone" and it's been stretching my nerves to all kinds of heights. The funny thing is, I can't seem to figure out why I have that tendency to completely over think everything. I even have the knack of driving my nerves all kinds of crazy by worrying about not having a fully set out plan ahead of me. And I also tend to focus on the items that aren't marked off the list so far in advance of the impending action that is about to take place.

     I've taken a ton of huge steps forward, a lot larger steps than I ever had in my life. As I said, it is completely out of my comfort zone and I am really feeling the effects. Is this something that anyone else can help me with or even do for me? Not in the least, it is all up to me. And this is where my lack of self confidence rears it's ugly head. Am I qualified for what I have set myself up to do? Possibly so, and if my close friends and relatives are to believed, I am if not overly so. Should I be worried about ANY of this? I have absolutely no reason why it should, yet I still am and I can't for the life of me figure out why. I know I have plenty of people around me that are giving me strength through all of this and yet I still can't seem to shake any of my self doubts.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

A learnin' I shall go

     So here I sit, waiting for the hammer to officially drop with this new position. I am in that interim period where I had just left the old spot and still trying to acclimate to the new one. Granted, my workload at the previous position was a tad on the light side at times. Due in large part because I was a glorified help desk tech, but still. We have plenty of problem children to deal with. This time I figure that number will increase exponentially as the days progress. Will I get overwhelmed with it all? That has still yet to be seen. I can hope that won't be the case, but I'm sure time will eventually tell.

     As the day wore on, I have been trying to keep myself busy on different tasks at hand. Even updating the operating systems on my phones, which was no small task I can assure you there. Being the brand new guy to the corporate group, I'm still looking for my little niche. The other two guys who were accepted had already been part of the corporate remote team, so they have their positions assigned to them right off the bat. Essentially, they just stayed where they were. I on the other hand have been given the grunt assignments that nobody else wants to even try to take on, GO ME! I figured that was they way it was going to go. I will either prove my worth to everyone higher up the chain by getting the systems I will be assigned to actually work with the other systems or I will crash and burn faster than a meteorite hitting the surface of the sun.

     I've been trying to motivate myself to actually learn how to use the systems the other guys have been working with for years now. I haven't had the luxury of being involved in any of the systems that are currently in place due in large part because I have moved departments so often. From an outsider's point of view, being with a company for over sixteen years and only moving four departments therein, would seem to be a monumental task. But when it comes to my fellow coworkers, they seem to not move around anywhere near as much as I. Having been able to totally and utterly embed themselves in the sole system in which they use on a daily basis. I am the corporate butterfly of sorts. I may have had mounds of experience in several departments, unfortunately the updated software systems came about just after I had already moved on. I may be intimately familiar with the workflow of each department, but when it comes down to effectively using the current, updated software for said departments I am floundering.

     Have I been deemed as a "fast learner"? I do believe I have on many an occasion. I just wish I didn't have to rely on it SO often is all. I feel as though I am a rogue T1000 in a molten metal bathtub. Hopefully I'll be able to find someone who will be able to at least show me the ropes while I still have them in sight. Granted, learning what all the new icons do in relation to how the old ones worked shouldn't be all too difficult in the grand scheme of things. Life must go on, technology must advance and we must advance with it or be left in the wake.

     So, it's almost quitting time and I'm about to let my brain rest for the day. Getting out and away from the computer screen so my eyes can rest as well. I figure that I should take full advantage of all this extra free time while I can. I don't expect I'll see much of it once the flood gates of the group finally fly open and flush me down the piping with the workload. But I must admit, I am one of those strange birds that actually enjoy learning new things. Once I get stuck in a rut is when I get quite moody. But from what I have witnessed thus far with the new job of mine, I should be able to skirt the ruts by leaps and bounds. Just as long as I am able to keep on top of all the emerging updates and software changes. Keep your fingers crossed for me. And hopefully I won't find myself stuck in the sewer drain of the corporate line.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Starting the long and arduous trek down the yellow brick road

     OK, so here I am once again. As the name would suggest, I am fairly reluctant about it. It would seem that I have a knack for writing, if sources are to be understood correctly. I figure it comes from the english minor in me, maybe even the artist that is trapped in this body of mine. If it paid a little better than it does, I might actually consider it a career choice. But for now, it will just stay a hobby as will my artwork. Will I eventually make money at it? Who really knows until it proves itself. I figure my problem is that I haven't been able to effectively expand my reach into the national realm, which is what I really need to do in order to "make it big" as they say. Abilene just isn't all that conducive to creative thinking, and it sure isn't a place to make a living artistically by any stretch of the imagination. Plus trying to hold down a full time paying gig while at the same time trying to do anything creative is a narrow catwalk for sure. An extremely narrow catwalk with no hand holds or balance bar to speak of. Not to say that I'm not going to try and make a go of it anyway.

     I've just recently expanded my horizons in my current career in the information technology business. Am I excited? You better believe I am. Is it what I truly WANT to do for a living, yes and no. On one hand I have a passion for computers and the software they employ to differing ends. On the other hand, it's dependent more on the left side of the brain than the right. Does it have that possibility to do so? Not that I can see in the foreseeable future. Many of you may be asking yourself, "well, isn't blogging like you are doing right now considered to be creative?", it can be and probably very much so. I'm thinking that maybe this will be a way for my creative side to reveal itself again while at the same time keeping sharp with the computer geek side. Hopefully I'll be able to keep the blogging thing going and not let either one overwhelm the other. We shall see how things go from here.

     Maybe I can keep the same momentum that I had once before with the blog-a-day schedule. I think the hardest part of it all wasn't the want to blog every day, but more of the coming up with fresh ideas to talk about each day. Writer's block was a constant most especially when your brain is in complete overload from trying to keep up with work items that don't stop at five. Most especially a job that encompasses the production end of a twenty-four-seven corporation and being one of a group of individuals who are trusted to be on-call during that time.

     The one part of the job that I am looking forward to will be the traveling, at least for now that is. Will it always be all smiles and rainbows? It's highly doubtful it will be. I have just started down the path of the yellow brick road. There is still miles left of those yellow devils left on the horizon and the euphoria of it all is still fairly fresh on the brain. Hopefully it will stay long enough for me to not get tired of it or burn out too quickly. I figure that this way I can mark a few more states off my travel bucket list. Granted, it will be primarily work related and maybe not as fun as it could be, but it's still getting out and seeing what all this great land has to offer.

     I've felt very stagnated by having dwelt in Abilene for as long as I have. Any new scenery will be gladly and openly welcomed. I'll look at it as a way to find where my chakra feels most at home and free to shine as it could. Will it help with my creative block that has all but implanted itself squarely in my path? Possibly, that's for the future to reveal. For now though, blogging may just be the limits to what I will be able to do for now. Drawing, painting and sculpting are still scratching for freedom. Hopefully they too will eventually see the light of day again. Especially when I have had a plethora of pleas from fans I didn't realize I had al but begging for me to get back into it.

     Now as for themes and topics of discussion on here, maybe I should just let those of you out there weigh in on what you think I should cover. Keeping in mind that yes, I DO tend to write my better blogs when I am under some sort of mental and or emotional distress. Again, one of those things that I have been told on many an occasion. But I do work for a fortune five-hundred corporation and they have and more than likely will entice me to those ends again. But I also have to keep in mind that they do sign my paychecks. So until that time comes when I can effectively and with good conscience make the move to full time artistic endeavors that can pay the bills without struggle, I'll have to keep the work venting to a minimum. Everything else may be considered fair game.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Has it seriously been almost two years?

So I looked over my last blog posts on here and wow. I hadn't realized that it's been about a year and a half since my last post. I've had a few requests here and there to start posting again, and maybe I shall. It would seem I have a way with words and a flare for the dramatic at times, but always humorous from what I understand. I guess that's just the way my brain works, and the train is about to leave the station once again. So have your tickets ready.....

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Since many of my stories have already been exploited....

I thought that I would harken on a tale that my brain spawned the other night. I've been reluctant to share any kind of story birthed in such a way not because it is weird, or that I feel ashamed of it in any way at all, but more that it will be stolen and exploited. I may sound like I suffer from a bit of paranoia, but history has proven me cautious instead. Anyone ever hear of the TV series phenomenon entitled, "Heroes"? You are welcome. But I digress.

This story begins with an off the beaten path barbecue joint in rural America. Where exactly that is, I couldn't say with any form of certainty. The general vicinity of Texas. I figured that from the low lieing hills and rolling red dirt storms. All I know is that it was a little metal shack with a few regular patrons and a small metal shed out back. Storage shed perhaps? Possibly so. Not really relevant to the story at hand. Just setting the mood I guess.

It was a fairly hot and humid Texas afternoon. Are there REALLY any other kind in Texas? Anyway, The wind was just cool enough to keep the suns rays from scorching too terribly bad. Just another one of your typical, lazy Texas afternoons. People were beginning to fill the picnic tables out under the metal porch, I was wandering in and out checking on things here and there. I should have guessed when I didn't happen to hear any birds or animals that something was amiss. But hindsight is always twenty-twenty.

Just then, loud claps of what sounded like thunder began ripping though the now still air. It could have been bomb blasts, no one really knew at this point. All we knew is that they were numerous, repetitious, and practically deafening. It drew everyone's attention to the direction of the sounds. Wonder mixed with a twinge of fear and a good dose of "what the hell is going on?". That would be the order of the day. Large plumes of red dust billowed from numerous points on the surrounding hillsides, each one emanating from the sounds of the blasts. We are being bombed, it had to be. What other kind of explanation could there possibly be to what is unfolding before our eyes?

The billowing dust plumes began to spiral further up into the sky. Enormous vortexes that just loomed over the land like spiraling vultures in search of their decaying carcass treat. The dust clouds then began to spill forth towards us at a tremendous rate. Nothing quite like witnessing a red plume hundreds of feet in height flowing directly at you with an almost evil intent. The restaurant customers deciding that they had witnessed enough to err on the side of safety, opted to dive for whatever shelter happened to be readily handy at the time. Their vehicles, the shed, the door to our eatery. Just in the nick of time did they all dive for cover. The sky that had shown so brightly through the doorway was now beginning to darken as the dust storm fell upon us.

The wind was whipping around making a horrendous sound. Tortured souls had been released from the gates of hell, or so it would have seemed at the time at least. I remained close to the doorway, more curious than scared for some odd ball reason. Maybe I felt the need to see what would indeed be heading our way. I watched as the wind storm opted to pick on our shed out back. Not exactly the best made construction you'd ever seen, but it sufficed for storage of whatever we needed it to be. I watched as it slowly moved it's way across the dirt lot, right up against the metal posts which were straining to keep the metal roof from taking flight. It was then that the shed essentially collapsed in on itself. Were there trapped souls in it when it gave it's crushing embrace, I wasn't exactly certain. I just knew it had collapsed like a deck of cards. That;s when I opted to back away from the doorway just to be on the safe side of shattering glass.

The wind slowly died down, letting the dust plume march it's way down the lane and slowly settle around the building. That's when I heard the voice. A loud speaker from the sounds of it. Nothing strange from the tone, more like an alert warning. The off kilter voice of a computer simulated voice speaking. That in and of itself intrigued me. We didn't have any sort of device like that to transmit from anywhere in the vicinity. Curiosity took hold once again.

I remember walking out the door, out into the grit covered patio, just in time to witness the first of many pod bay doors erupting from the ground. Everywhere that those thunderous sounds burst from. Transport pods maybe? An alien invasion now, here? Four wedge shaped, black doors sprang open and out of them began flowing out....people. Um, OK. what the hell is this? "Do not be afraid", the synthesized voice boomed, "These are your people. They are believed to be dead and we have resurrected them. They are acting as our emissaries." I make my way through the standing throng of onlookers to try and get to a better vantage point. Why exactly do I feel the need to do that? More curious than safety conscious maybe, I'm not too sure.

Now that's strange. The further around the building I get, still within visual range of the still erupting pod the voice is getting less distinct. As if I am somehow getting out of it's directional focus. So where in the hell is it emanating from then? There's no visible speaker system of any sorts. Just the rows and rows of the walking corpse creatures heading down the hill our direction. Will we now have a zombie apocalypse on our hands now? That would be great, just freaking wonderful.The wave of soulless, white eyed creatures slowly make their way passed the crowd of frightened spectators. I finally make it to within arms length of the line. Close enough to see in vivid clarity the monstrosities let loose on us. They all appear to range from practically infant sized to the elderly. All the same shade of ruddy brown skin tone, dark clothes and milk white eyes.

To be continued....

Why does creativity hit at the point of exhaustion?

I've often asked my self that very question. apparently my brain has a host of wonderful story ideas complete with storyboards and special effects. The trouble is, finding enough time to actually sit still long enough to jot them all down before my body decides it's had enough for the day. I've even woken up in throughout the night with visions of my dreamscapes still fresh in my head and what happens then? My eyes slowly close, I drift back off into nothingness. And when I regain consciousness a few hours later, lo-and-behold, the clarity of my subconscious has practically flown right out the window.

So I of course sit, trying my hardest to reclaim the vivacity of details of which left me in total wonder in my partial awakened dream state....with little if anything to really ever show for it. They of course leave me with the vaguest of hints at the bulk of the storyline. Like seeing a mirage in the desert and knowing you just came from there, but can't remember much of the trip.

Then when I have enough time to sit and ponder the universe and or life in general, that ever so fleeting spark of inspiration and creativity keeps their distance from me. The harder I try to grasp at them, the more elusive they become. I've been asked many a time why I don't draw and write anymore. It's simple really. My mind seems up to the task at hand, the problem lies in the fact that my body refuses to keep up with it.